When Training up a Child feels like Failure

Hi friends, Tricia here. A while back, I was sitting in the church office I share with Mars Kids Director Sarah Jacobs, and she was crying while reading through a volunteer application Lauren Latta submitted so that she could be a nursery worker.

Lauren shared her testimony on the application form, and it was such a testament of the gospel’s power. Since our kids are in the same preschool, I see Lauren every day at drop-off and pick-up, so I asked her 1) if she would mind me sharing her testimony and 2) if she would mind elaborating on it.

Lauren’s faith journey is not unlike many people who grow up in the church, fade-out, then return, but I find her story to be so incredibly encouraging for Christian parents whose children are not walking with the Lord.

I’m going to leave Lauren’s words in the original interview-style format because I feel like you can really hear her heart this way. Thank you Lauren, for sharing your beautiful story with us. This is what authentic community looks like- a willingness to share your stories.

Was your faith important to you in your youth, or did you just go with the flow because it was the norm in your family? 

My parents had me at church every Sunday morning and evening and Wednesday nights. I was in Bible Drill, GA’s, choir, and every Christian program offered. We played Christian music, read Christian fiction, my mother literally surrounded us with the truth of Jesus my entire youth. The truth was everywhere I turned with a little tainting by public school, and I mean very little (I really didn’t even know worldly temptations until I went to college). I accepted all of it as truth, and I defended it and debated with people over it being true.

There were many times that I remember, probably at least four times where I had an emotional experience to the way it was presented to me at church camps, D-Now, Heartbeat, etc., where I made a decision to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior. I always wondered why it “never took” and after a few days, I was back to my old self. I was always ready to change and be a better person, but it’s like it never worked on me like it did other people.

Why do you think you faded out of church for a time?

I definitely got out of the habit of going. I popped in here and there for many reasons.  One being, my family would ask me constantly, and I hated them looking at me like the black sheep of the family. So many times, it was to keep appearances. Sometimes I did feel the need to reform my life, or “get back on track” and church was a great way to start.

If I were being honest, I thought I didn’t need church.  I thought I didn’t need the Word. I wasn’t a believer, even though I considered myself one at the time.  

During this time, did you feel a sense of nagging on your conscience or were you just doing your own thing and living your life?

When I went to college, I slowly became more and more submerged in a worldly lifestyle, but I was not nearly as bad as my friends (so I thought). I had standards (so I thought). I could get just so close, right up to the line without crossing it, or just barely crossing it, and still be counted as righteous (so I thought). The only thing that kept me from crossing the line over and over and over was a quiet nagging from my knowledge of the truth.  The knowledge that my parents instilled in me, consistently, without fail, over and over and over. This knowledge of the truth never allowed me to be satisfied in my sin.  It always made me feel the sin like a layer of dirt on my skin that I could never rinse off, but just kept trying to wipe off and ignore it. I am sooooo grateful to my parents for this.  

What was it that brought you back to practicing your faith?

This constant pull in both directions finally caught up with me in grad school.  I was working at a restaurant at night, and I developed a friendship with a coworker of mine who was a believer and went to Mars Hill since it started. My coworker and I were never to the point where we hung out outside of work, but there was something about her life that I wanted, and I knew Christ was the difference in us. We had so many nights where we talked about how I really wanted to be a Christian. I really wanted it to take root in my life, but it just never had. I didn’t know how to make it happen. One night she said, “why don’t you try to listen to the podcasts from the Mars Hill sermons and just see how you like them.” I agreed to do it, but it took a few weeks before I downloaded them.

The podcasts were going through the book of Mark verse by verse, and they were presenting the gospel in a way I’d never heard it before. There were facts and history and explanations of prophecies and their fulfillment and so many other things that I’d never understood. I left Mobile to move my stuff to Savannah, Ga, and then drove up to Washington DC. I listened to the podcasts almost the entire trip.  12 hours straight of the Gospel according to Mark. I never felt the emotional kick I was sure should’ve happened.  I never pulled the car over and prayed to receive Christ.  But after that trip, the Word was planted and took root in my heart, and I belonged to Jesus.  I finally understood what it meant to be covered in the blood of Christ. I finally understood what he did for me. I was 23 years old.

I don’t think this story is amazing at all.  In fact, I think it to be kind of boring that I binge listened to Mars Hill podcasts and came out the other side as a believer.  What I know though, is that it took all of those 23 years for my heart to be ready.

How can our church better support people who are still seeking the Lord, who haven’t fully committed yet to God as their Savior?

Don’t give up on them when they blow you off or don’t take it as seriously as you do. Stay with them and help them prep their soil. I feel like my testimony is kind of like the parable of the soils, and my heart went through all of those soils in the exact order.  When I was younger my heart was the path, and later the rocks and the weeds, and all of that work from my family, and friends, and the Holy Spirit for my heart to be good soil. I feel like people stayed in my life and new people came into my life and God was preparing and working on my heart soil my whole 23 years until finally, 10+ hours of the Gospel according to Mark fell on good soil and took root.

What lessons did you learn from all of this?

I learned that with non-believers, all I can do is offer the truth in love whenever I have the opportunity (in conversation, and in action).  I can offer it in a way that is not judgmental or offensive but IN LOVE.  I will say some Christians offered truth to me in love and others made me feel absolutely terrible. I don’t think this was their intent, but regardless, the feelings had a negative effect every time. Those emotional experiences made me think I was saved when I was younger, and they made me feel terrible, alone, and unworthy when I was older. Even though some could argue it made me see my depravity, my feelings blocked my view of the truth. So I learned that with non-believers, I need to try not to get in the way, but stand beside them and point them in that direction and whenever they’re ready, they’ll start walking that way. I’m not saying this is true for everyone, but I think it is for some of us.

As a parent, how does your faith journey shape how you raise your kids?

The biggest thing that this taught me is to surround my kids with Jesus like my mom did. Surrounding them with the truth from their very first breath, day in and day out, impressing them on my children. Teaching them God’s commandments that He gives so they’ll be on their hearts. Talking about them when we sit at home and when we walk along the road, when I lay them down at night and when they get up. Tie them as symbols on their hands and bind them on their foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of our house and on our gates. 

I have little to no control over my children’s salvation, but I can surround them with truth in word and deed.  With the help of the Holy Spirit, I can be steady and consistent in a changing world. I am going to do my best to recognize where they are and guide them to Him.  

For parents who are struggling with the fact that their children are rebelling from their faith, what can you tell them to encourage or give them hope?

I hope that my testimony encourages parents who have done everything they could to surround their kids and grow them up in the truth of the gospel. I’m sure to my parents my story was looking a little bleak, but their efforts had a huge impact in the way I came to submit my life to Christ.

I really wished my testimony involved me becoming a believer at a very young age like I should have. I am so sad about my sin all of those years and I wish I forget all of them or somehow take them all back.  I detest the life I used to live, and it makes me cringe to think about it. But I am thankful for everything he taught me through all of it. I am a testament to His grace and His mercy.  He used my sin for good.